Lifeless: A Laven Story
by nolongeractivesorry
Summary: The Earl shows Allen something unspeakably horrible and Allen's emotions and life-force are drained from him. Can Lavi help bring back the boy he loves, or will Allen be lifeless forever? Laven Fluff. Warning: Yaoi and bad language.
1. Love, Lies, Lifeless

**Author's Note: HELLO EVERYONE~ As far are all of you goers know, I've only ever attempted humor. I thought that I'd share my first ever yaoi story with you guys, since you're all that awesome :'D Only one other person has seen this story (cough, UnderMissTaken, cough) and she assured me it was good, so I thought "why not"? ^^ I hope you all enjoy~ Don't worry, this is only the first chapter of it so far ;)**

**Side note: All of it is written in Lavi's POV. Sorry for any sort of mistakes or OOCness. **

**WARNING: Contains yaoi, bad language, Laven, and some one-sided Lucky if you squint**

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*Lavi's POV*

Chapter 1: Love, Lies, Lifeless

Cautiously I crept forward, nearly pressed to the grimy wall. Yuu trailed behind me and I noticed his gaze was on the giant cut in my side. He shook his head, as if pitying me for not having his fast recovering abilities. I glared at him, slightly pressed on it, and winced as sharp pain shot through my nerves and fresh blood stained my bandages. I pulled my hand away and decided it would be best to leave my injury alone. Suddenly, chilling laughter sliced through the night like a frozen blade. Shivers ran down my spine, but my heart nearly stopped when I recognized who the sickly sweet chortles belonged to. I turned around to face my comrade and mouthed the words "Millennium Earl." Yuu's eyes widened then narrowed, dark cobalt irises flaring with loathing.

It was then when we heard him crying.

"P-Please. No more," he whimpered. My blood turned to ice in my veins when I recognized the new voice. Yuu's gaze met mine and realization lit in our eyes.

"Moyashi," we breathed simultaneously. Yuu looked at me pointedly and I nodded. Moving very slowly, I chanced a peek around the corner. Allen was crumpled on the ground, sobbing.

"Please! Stop it!" my love choked and I felt my heart ache for him. The Earl only leered.

"Join me, brother, and these visions will cease," the Earl said in a voice dripping honey. Allen apparently had enough strength to life his head and glare.

"N-Never," Allen spat, yet his voice lacked ferocity. I burned with the need to pour strength into his words.

"Perhaps I _will _stop these painful memories. Maybe you would rather focus on the present," the Earl said with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" Allen demanded and I felt my pride for him soar as he forced a little murderous intent into his words. Yet the Earl's smile only widened.

"You were separated from your comrades early in this battle, weren't you, Allen Walker? You are currently unaware of their well-being at the moment, am I correct?"

Allen gritted his teeth and didn't reply.

"Perhaps I will do you a favor and tell you how they're faring," the Earl said mockingly.

"What have you done to my friends?" Allen screamed. The Earl chuckled.

"Don't act as if we didn't give them the chance to surrender," the Earl chortled. "We offered to let them go, but they were persistent on fighting us," The Earl said, feinting sadness.

"You didn't answer my question, Earl," Allen snarled. The Earl smiled again.

"They're dead. Every one of them."

Yuu and I exchanged outraged glances. That disgusting bastard! I was about to jump out from our hiding spot and yell to Allen that we were fine, but somehow Yuu sensed what I was preparing to do. The next thing I knew, Yuu had clamped one hand over my mouth and wrapped his other arm around my middle, preventing me from springing forward. The most I could do was flail as much as I could, but his grip was like iron.

I glared at him furiously, but his eyes told me to remain quiet; that we alone were no match for the Earl. I looked at him pleadingly, but he shook his head firmly. I saw that his decision was strong and I sagged with defeat. As soon as Yuu sensed my regretful surrender, he released me with a warning glance as poisonous as a death glare. I winced from the murderous aura that poured off of him and sighed. But my exhale froze in my throat when I heard the Earl's next words left his mouth.

"Perhaps you would like to witness the demise of your friends?"

I peered around the corner again, and Yuu joined me this time, anxious curiosity getting the better of him. The Earl summoned a holographic screen out of nowhere and Yuu and I exchanged glances. We hadn't been aware the Earl could do that. Apparently Allen hadn't known either, because not only did he look weakened, shocked, and scared, but also _baffled_ to top it off.

We studied the blank screen for a moment, ponderous and suspicious, but suddenly it sprang to life, moving images of us and our comrades fighting flickering across the screen in amazingly clear quality. I almost wished we could get some of those screens for the Order; our high tech technology was looking pretty crappy next to the Earl's.

At first the battle looked accurate, like the one we had really fought. Yuu and I exchanged confused glances. We hadn't perished in the real battle, so how was the Earl going to convince Allen that we were dead? Our question was answered almost immediately. The events on the screen took a drastic turn and Miranda's time barrier fell, leaving the wounded vulnerable. The Akuma and Noah took the chance and fired on the crowd of injured people. The finders screamed as their bodies dissolved into dust. Miranda and Krory also fell, their shrieks of agony ringing in our ears as they dissipated into dust as well. Allen was sobbing once again, whimpers of "No" and "That's impossible" escaping his quivering lips every now and then. Pain for my love twisted my features, and I could see a hint of Yuu's anxiety for Allen on his face as well.

Next it showed Lenalee springing forward and attacking the main group of Noah and Akuma that had just destroyed her friends. Her screams resounded in my head, making me feel dizzy as I watched her body consumed by an enormous sphere of Tyki Mikk's electricity. Allen sobbed even more heavily.

"Lenalee… No… She… It's not true… Lena…" Allen choked between sobs. I felt a little twinge of jealousy as he sobbed for Lenalee, but then guilt poured into me. Sure, I didn't really like Lenalee that much, but that was no reason to despise her because Allen regretted her death.

Next, Yuu came into view and I felt him stiffen beside me, his eyes narrowing further. It showed him leaping from the ground, trying to rescue Lenalee from her demise. But the second that burning electricity came in contact with Mugen, it shot through his body and an arm of the purple electricity grabbed him and pulled him into the sphere as well. And the worst part was that Mugen slipped from Yuu's hand as he was sucked into the burning electricity. Both of them were screaming now, and we watched the two of them disintegrate right before our eyes. Tyki smirked as he approached the ashes, picked up the glowing sphere that contained Yuu's regenerative abilities, and crushed it into dust as he would have done with innocence. Yuu inhaled sharply and I saw that his face was livid, but there was a trace of fear in his eyes. I knew he was wondering if it was possible for a Noah to really do that to his recovery powers.

Then it focused on… Me. The Panda and I were the only ones left, yet we looked prepared to put our lives on the line. I felt my breath catch in my throat as the screen displayed me and the Panda starting forward to destroy the Akuma that had killed our "comrades." I felt guilty to think about the word comrade with air quotes, but it was necessary, or at least that's what Panda said. I knew that if defeat looked this certain, the Panda and I would have fled without a second thought. Because my friends were only ink on paper, right? Their untimely deaths were simply just another entry in the Bookman record logs, right?

My shameful thoughts were shoved away as I gaped in horror as bullets fired on us and ripped through our bodies. Our echoing screams made chills run down my spine. It sounded and looked exactly like us, and it was starting to really freak me out. How was the Earl doing this?

Allen's sobs were on the brink of transforming into screams. My heart burned with the need to run to him, to take him in my arms and tell him that everything was fine. Yet, Yuu's warning glare stayed fresh in my mind and I knew that if the Earl didn't murder me, surely my Asian comrade would.

"STOP! NO MORE! _PLEASE!_" Allen howled, tears flooding down his cheeks. A sick, sad feeling tied my stomach into knots. It hurt so much to see the one I loved in so much agony. I couldn't bear it. I felt hot tears forming in my own eyes as a reaction to Allen's pain. It made me feel weak, but I didn't mind as I usually would. After all, Allen believed I was dead, that we were all dead.

"Your friends had quite a courageous end, didn't they?" the Earl mocked.

"YOU BASTARD!" Allen screamed. "Lavi… No… Anyone but Lavi!" Allen wept. My heart sank even lower when I saw the Earl's smile widen at the mention of my name.

"Lavi, huh? I've heard a little rumor that he's your current… how do the kids call it these days… boyfriend?" the Earl leered. Allen sobbed even harder.

"Let me tell you a secret, dear brother," the Earl said. Allen's sobs were slightly smothered as he glanced up at the Earl.

"There is no Lavi. Lavi is but a mask, a personality for that Bookman Junior to adopt to get near to his comrades. Bookman Junior doesn't love you. Lavi does. But Lavi does not exist. It's fake. It's a lie. He's been using you to get the information he needs. In fact, 35 years ago, the Bookmen were on our side to record what was needed. He's a liar and a traitor. He would leave you at the first sign that their work is done and there is nothing more to record. Why do you think that Bookman Junior had so many names? Each name was a different mask, a different personality to wear to get close to the people around him. "

The Earl's comment sliced through me like icy blades, hurting me deeply as I felt the words slash at me, yet also managing to chill me to the bone. I wanted to tell myself that it wasn't true…. But part of it was. I am a Bookman's successor. I am meant to record and nothing more than that. Attachments are a no-no, especially intimate romantic ones. Yet, I do love Allen. I cherish him more than my own life. And that's where the Earl got it wrong. I would rather quit my duty as a Bookman's successor than leave him. No… Leaving my love behind is not an option.

But there was no way Allen could know that. And it showed on his face.

He was horrified, shocked, and obviously hurt deeply. My chest was so tight that I ached for the need to cry and release this tension by spilling tears. I couldn't let Allen doubt my love for him. It was too strong to be broken simply by the words of another. But then the mask slipped back on, and suddenly Allen was furious and out for blood.

"Lavi isn't a traitor!" Allen spat. I felt my grief dwindle slightly and I silently cheered at his faith in me. But my joy faded when the Earl laughed heartily at Allen's statement.

"Do you sincerely believe that Bookman Junior holds you dearer than his precious records? Lies!"

"No! Lavi wouldn't-!"

"Do you need proof, Allen Walker? Do you need proof that 'Lavi' is not loyal to you?"

That's when the world started spinning again and I had to hold onto a startled and irritated Yuu for support. I felt bile rise in my throat and I prayed that the Earl wouldn't show me and Panda having our casual conversations about our loyalty only to the records. No… I'd only ever had those talks with Panda to assure him I wasn't losing my place as a Bookman-to-be… even though I was.

I could say Allen trembling. "T-There is no proof! You're lying!" he accused.

"Lying? I should think not."

"YOU ARE! LAVI IS LOYAL TO ME!" Allen screamed.

"My, my," the Earl sighed. "It seems that I must show you the proof or you'll continue slandering my honesty." The Earl's glasses glinted with evil intentions. "And don't act like I don't know you're there, little rats," the Earl said without turning around. Our jaws dropped and we started backing away, but we stumbled into the chests of two Noahs.

"Kill them," the Earl stated simply.

"NO!" I yelled. "ALLEN, ITS ME! LAVI! WE'RE OKAY! DON'T BELIEVE HIM!" I screamed as I tried to wriggle out of Tyki's grasp.

"Not so fast, lovely," the Noah breathed in my ear. I snarled at him and jerked myself away. I tucked and rolled at just the right moment and came to a halt right next to where the Earl was. A shadowy barrier was surrounding Allen and the Earl, and I immediately tried to destroy it with a fire seal. No avail.

"ALLEN! ALLEN!"

"He can't hear you," Tyki's voice sneered and I whipped around just in time to see the Noah dive for me. He grabbed me around the middle, nearly squeezing the air out of me. I gasped like a fish out of water and flailed, trying to shove him off.

"The Earl's trapped him inside a soundproof, indestructible barrier. Cheating boy A won't be released until the Earl's shown him everything he wants to," Tyki said smoothly as I struggled.

"No… No… Allen…" I murmured and I felt new tears sting in my eyes. "The Earl… can't lie to Allen. He's just accepted my love for him… We've just started to become close!" I screamed and kicked. I felt my foot connect with something solid and Tyki let out a pained grunt. His arms loosened for a moment and I slipped out of his grasp.

"YUU! WE NEED TO GET ALLEN OUT OF THERE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. The samurai, slashing at everything and everyone that came near him, scowled at me.

"I think we'll need to take care of these Noah before we can get to Moyashi," he pointed out irritably. I sighed in agreement and frustration as I neatly dodged a blow from Tyki.

Suddenly, a bright purple light enveloped the immediate area outside of the shadowy barrier the Earl had created. We all shielded our eyes as the barrier began to bulge and rip in some places. In seconds, the shadows had dissipated into nothing after an immense explosion of purple light.

"Come," the Earl said cheerfully. "Our work is done for now." The Noah obediently left the scene. But Tyki Mikk didn't leave as quickly as the others. He grabbed me from behind and laughed at my gasp of surprise.

"Until next time, lovely," he whispered in my ear and pressed a kiss to my cheek. Then he was gone. I collapsed on the stones, frantically rubbing my cheek as I tried to rid myself of Tyki Mikk's touch. I slowly got to my feet, my knees shaking and my wound bleeding profusely again. I staggered over to Allen and Yuu joined me as well. My love was unharmed as far as I could see, but he was still crying quietly.

"Allen…" I murmured and brushed his snowy hair out of his eyes. "Are you okay? Whatever he showed you isn't true. I promise. We're fine. Everyone 's safe," I assured him. He still wouldn't look at me.

"Allen?" I asked softly. I put a finger under his chin and made him look at me. Tears filled lifeless, stormy gray eyes. He stared at me numbly then jerked his chin away from my grasp.

"Allen, don't be like that. I promise that whatever he said was a lie. A total lie," I said sincerely. I reached out a hand to touch his cheek and felt my heart shatter when he slapped it away. "Allen?" He didn't respond. He only looked at me with those wide, expressionless gray eyes. Eyes that once held sadness, anger, joy, and love.

"Allen, say something, please! You're scaring me!" I begged. Allen looked at me and I thought I saw a hint of grief flicker in his eyes. But as soon as the spark had appeared, it was gone. "Allen, talk to me!" I pleaded. He lowered his eyes and shook his head. I grabbed his hand. "Allen, please!" He shook his head more vehemently, pulled his hand out of mine, and back away from me, trembling. I felt my broken heart being squeezed and crushed.

"Allen…"

That was the day that Allen Walker, my one and only love, became lifeless.

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Not a word left his mouth and his eyes rarely showed the emotion that should have been there. For the next two days, we traveled back to HQ without our other comrades, seeing as they had already returned home. Allen refused to eat, sleep, and talk to me and Yuu for those 48 hours. When we finally reached Headquarters, he'd fainted from lack of food and rest and we had to rush him to the hospital wing.

He stayed in bed with an IV for the next week. I visited him every night, but my time with him was always short. The moment I came into sight, the tears would come again, spilling down his cheeks as he sobbed heavily. When I would frantically try to calm him down, the Head Nurse would shoo me away.

Then I was banned from the hospital wing unless I was injured…

I was frustrated, sad, and completely heartbroken. The emptiness in Allen's eyes would never fade, and when it did, it always showed fear. At least to me. Yuu said that Allen was lifeless and fearful of him too. But he also added that Allen seemed a bit… angry at him. I pondered what this could mean, but couldn't conjure up any explanation. He never talked to anyone. He didn't even bother gesturing to what he needed or what he wanted. He just lay there in bed, limp and empty. The boy that was so full of happiness, tragedy, and love was gone. He was a hollow shell of who he was.

And the worst part was that I didn't know _why._ My jaw clenched and my hands became fists. It took all my self-control not to punch the wall. I hated not knowing. It made everything harder. I usually knew everything; I was a Bookman's apprentice after all. And all this uncertainty was irritating me. And maybe I could deal with the uncertainty, if Allen was getting better. But he wasn't. Everyone was putting in their best effort to bring some life back into Allen, to make him speak again.

But nothing was working.

Silently, I continued down the hall. I wasn't allowed to participate in helping, and they had forbidden me from coming near Allen again… But I had to try. I knew Allen the best out of all of them. I knew his likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. Surely I could come up with something to bring some life back into him. I was a self-proclaimed genius after all. I smiled a little.

And thus my plan to bring life into Allen began.

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**So what did you think of the first chapter and first attempt at yaoi? Want me to post the rest of the story up here? Tell me in a review~ I appreciate all of them ^^ **

**Special thanks to UnderMissTaken for being my beta reader for this!**


	2. The Dango

**Author's Note: UPDATING~ Thanks so much to everyone who favorited and reviewed! It made me really happy :'D **

**The rest of the chapters are way shorter than the first one~ Sorry! D: **

**Warning: Contains yaoi, OOCness, bad language (probably), and a bunch of other random crap that is poorly written!**

**I DON'T OWN -MAN... not sure if I put that in the last chapter ._. oh well. I think it's self-explanatory...**

**Side note: sorry for any mistakes! After i publish it i can't fix it, because I haven't figured out how to edit chapter content after I publish it o.o**

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Chapter 2: The Dango

My first stop was the cafeteria. Jeryy looked happy to see me, as per usual.

"Ah, why if it isn't the little Usagi! What can I get for you?"

"I'd like twenty large orders of mitarashi dango, three chocolate cakes, five apple pies, six plates of fried chicken, two hams, three bowls of mashed potatoes, four bowls of fruit, and a large jug of lemonade." I beamed, congratulating myself on remembering all of Allen's favorite foods. Jeryy raised an eyebrow.

"That sounds like an order Allen would make. Are you sure you don't want yakiniku?" Jeryy asked, suspicious. I shrugged.

"I'd like what I ordered. I guess I'm just feeling kind of sad about Allen. Nostalgic of what he used to eat I guess," I mumbled, lying through my teeth. Jeryy immediately became sympathetic.

"Why of course, little Usagi! I'll get you exactly what you asked! Oh, you poor heartbroken thing," he said, sounding more like an overdramatic woman by the second. He called in the order and said I could take a seat. I smiled and said I'd rather talk to him.

"So, what has Allen been getting to eat?" I asked.

"Not very much. Head nurse insists on only feeding him rice and bland soup. That poor boy must be slowly starving. If it weren't for that I.V. he would certainly have died. He's probably going through flavor withdrawal," Jeryy said dramatically. I felt sadness flood into me. My poor Allen… not only was he empty of his emotions, but also of his favorite foods.

"….That's not good," I said quietly. Jeryy looked devastated.

"Poor thing, I've made you even sadder! Forgive me! Here's your food!" Jeryy said overemotionally, pushing a cart out of the kitchen for me. "Hopefully these goods will fill the hole in your heart!"

I smiled faintly. He was almost right on.

I pushed the cart away, wincing at the loud squeaks the turning wheels emitted. Soon I was before the large doors of the hospital wing. I pressed my ear to the cold wood and shuddered at the touch. I listened hard, but sensed that Allen was the only one in his room. Relieved, but nervous, I pulled my hood over my head and tied my scarf over the lower half of my face. I also let my hair down and that pretty much concealed as much of my face as possible. And it was night too. Surely, Allen couldn't be afraid of me if he couldn't tell who I was. But then again, wouldn't looking like a stranger scare him too? I sighed. Oh well. It was the best chance I had. I eased the door open and pushed the cart into the room.

As I had expected, there was no one but Allen, who lay limply on his bed. His head moved slightly to see who had entered the room and I froze, not wanting to startle him. But he seemed unfazed. He didn't even notice the cart as he resumed staring at the ceiling.

_Don't cry,_ I willed myself. _I'll make him better, no matter what. _

"Hey Allen," I said, my voice muffled by my scarf. He glanced at me again, but didn't seem to register my voice. I sighed with relief.

"I brought you something," I said quietly. "But you gotta keep it a secret, okay?" I pushed the cart over to his bedside. Normally, his eyes would fill with happiness and gleam with love when he saw all the food. And he'd probably start drooling too. But there was barely any response from him. I thought I saw a flicker of happiness flash across his features, but when I looked again, his expression was blank.

I pulled a chair up to the side of his bed.

"Since you seem to be having some issues with moving, I'll feed you," I said cheerfully. Allen only blinked. I gently plucked part of the dango off the stick and put it on a plate. I cut it in two with a fork and stabbed one of the pieces, spearing it on the utensil. I put it to his mouth, but he didn't open it. He only stared at it with mild curiosity. I gently used my thumb to open his mouth and I placed the dango on his tongue. He just laid there, looing confused. I gently urged his jaw up and down, so he could chew.

Eventually, he sort of got the idea and started eating on his own. A faint look of pleasure spread across his features. I smiled from behind my scarf, pleased to be getting somewhat of a reaction from him. He started chewing more enthusiastically now and looked longingly at the cake. I switched foods and fed him a bit of everything. When I had finished feeding him all that was on the cart, he wore a slight smile. I felt happiness and affection coursing through my veins, warming the blood that had turned cold ever since that night.

I couldn't help myself. I pulled my scarf down and pressed a kiss to Allen's forehead. He looked surprised then the expressionless mask came back on. I thought I saw tears starting to form in his eyes.

"No, no, Allen, it's okay," I said quickly. The tears never spilled over the brims of his eyes, but they stayed there, quivering and glistening in the moonlight that poured through the window. "I'm sorry… Shh… Shh…" I soothed him and pressed another kiss to his cheek. He cringed, but didn't really pull away.

"…I don't understand. What did the Earl show you that could make you so empty?" I murmured. Allen looked away and I saw real grief flicker in his eyes. Suddenly there was the sound of voices coming from another room nearby and footsteps.

"Crap," I muttered. I pressed another tender kiss to his forehead and smiled at him. "I love you. See you later," I murmured and slipped out of the room, as silent and sneaky as a feline.

And they call me _Usagi…_

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**So what'd you think of the update? Hate me for it? XD I know it's too short, GAH. ._. FORGIVE MEEEE. ****Although I updated super fast, in my opinion :'D**

**TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IN A REVIEW~ ****REVIEWS ARE LIKE COOKIES. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM. SO PLEASE PRESS THE LITTLE BUTTON AND REVIEWWWW is very desperate for feedback**

_**Thank you all! 3**_


	3. The Fairytales

**Author's Note: AHHHH I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING QUICKLY D: I swear, this is NOT my fault. Fanfiction went flipping crazy and wouldn't let me edit any of my stories! I checked every single day to see if it would work, and this is the first time it's let me edit! I'm so sorry and I promise to post the last chapter really soon as an apology! Here is the next, short, crappy chapter! DONT KILL MEEE~ ^^;;;**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, OOCness, and lots of other crap~**

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I entered the library quietly and looked around. I was relieved to find it was unoccupied. Then no one would question my motives. Feeling uncomfortable and new to the experience, I entered the fiction section.

Yes, I did say _fiction_. Not historical, or reference, or nonfiction. I entered the _fiction _section. And yes, it was the first time I'd ever done that.

Fiction was usually another big no-no for Bookmen, considering we record and don't really require creativity and the like. I'd secretly read some fiction, but never had I been surrounded by so many books filled with stories purely made my imagination. I was in awe. I'd never thought that mankind had enough creativity and originality to come up with so many tales. But I shook myself out of my awed oblivion. I had come here on a mission, not to lolly-gag and enjoy myself.

I was glad the books were arranged by titles, because it made it much easier for me to find the particular volume I was seeking: The Grimm's Fairytales. I smiled and blew off a little dust that was accumulated on the thick volume. I flipped the book open and skimmed through the pages. Yep, this was the one. Allen had told me about how Mana used to tell him stories before bed, and they were always fairytales. He said one day he'd write his own book full of them to lull young children to sleep every night. Of course this had touched my heart, so it was practically unforgettable. I had been planning to give Allen the complete book of fairytales for a while, but it just kept slipping my mind. Now that it mattered most, it had popped into my head without warning. But I was grateful for the idea, no matter how spontaneous it seemed.

Tucking the book under my arm, I jogged to the medical wing, ducking behind a pillar every time someone came down the hall. Soon I was in front of those large, wooden doors again and pushed them open, wincing at the slight creak. Allen was still on his bed, but he looked better. Some color had returned to his pale cheeks and his eyes darted to the door when I entered. His stormy orbs were no longer lifeless, but still held the sadness that made my heart break. I closed the door quietly and sat down beside him.

"Hey, Allen, doing any better?" I asked quietly as I ruffled his hair. He looked away from me. I sighed sadly, but put my hand on his cheek and made him look at me.

"I brought you something," I said, showing the book to him. His eyes widened a little and I thought I saw recollection flash in them. I smiled a little.

"Do you wanna hear some?" Allen simply stared at the cover. "Please answer me, love." He nodded once, slightly. It made me want to cry. His improvement was far more than I expected; it made my hopes soar.

"Okay…" I positioned myself so the moonlight spread across the pages, illuminating it. "Once upon a time…"

We must have spent hours poring over that book; I read every one of those fairytales aloud. My throat was sore and my voice was hoarse by the end of it, but it was worth it. Allen's face was glowing and a few tears glistened in his eyes.

"Did you like them?" I asked after clearing my throat. Allen nodded once, eyes still sparkling. I grinned.

"I'm so glad," I murmured and kissed his cheek. I stroked his hair and I was very pleased when he leaned into the touch. His lifted his hand shakily and pointed at the book. I felt shock tense my body as Allen looked pleadingly at me, then at the book.

"W-What do you want, Allen?" I asked gently, but my voice was shaking. He opened his mouth then shut it again. He moved his lips soundlessly.

"You want to keep the book?" He nodded. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Of course you can keep the book," I murmured as I wrapped him in a hug. I half-expected him to hug me back, like he used to, but his arms only twitched feebly and he let me squeeze him. "I'm sorry," I said quietly and I put the book on his lap. Small, pale hands skimmed over the smooth surface and delicately flipped the cover back.

"Well, I'll leave you alone with your book now, okay?" I said, kissing his cheek. He looked at me with eyes shining with happiness and he nodded. I grinned.

"Goodbye, Allen. I love you," I said sincerely. He smiled a little and hesitantly raised his hand. He waved a little. I choked back a sob and smiled. I slipped out of the room quickly and ran as quickly as I could to my room. Thankful to find it empty, I collapsed on my bed and started sobbing.

It was working. I was making a difference.

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**Please don't hate me for this chapter~ I know it's short and horrible. *more headwalling* **

**The last chapter will be out soon (hopefully) and you guys may or may not hate me for the ending~**

**Thanks for all the people who've reviewed and supported the story! I'll try and update soon for you guys! :'D**


	4. Memories

**Author's Note: I promised I would update really soon as an apology, so here is the last chapter, soon as promised! I hope you guys won't murder me for the crappy ending~ ^^;;;; Anywho, i hope you enjoy the final chapter of my first ever yaoi fic~ XD**

**Warning: Contains yaoi, OOCness, and other stuff~**

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"Damn it!" I cursed under my breath as I paced. It was 10 minutes 'til midnight, which was when I usually visited Allen. Bat the moment, I had nothing to give him. "If only I hadn't left this to the last minute… How can I top off the book?" I muttered to myself. I wanted to kick something really badly. Everything that was sentimental to us couldn't be given to him. The snow that we'd tossed at each other would be useless. The music he liked, I couldn't give to him, risk being caught. And those days where we would sit by the fire talking, snug under a blanket, how could I give that to him? How could I give him the scent of rain, the sound of crackling flames, all those memories that he loved?

...

Memories.

I'd given him a book… and now I wanted to give him our memories… Hadn't I made…?

I gasped and uttered a victorious "YES!" to myself. I remembered now. For Christmas, Lenalee had given me a kit to make a book of memories and I had embarked to finish it to hold the memories of me and Allen. Now the only problem was… Where had I put the damn thing? A light bulb practically went on above my head and I started hunting through the papers on my desk.

_God I should really clean this up, _I thought to myself as I dug deeper through the endless piles of documentaries and historical accounts. Aha! I withdrew the small photo album for the mess and dusted it off. I flipped the cover open and smiled at the picture and caption. It was a snapshot of me and Allen smiling and hugging with our names underneath. Every time I turned the page I would smile again. There were photos of us doing every possible thing: baking cookies, playing in snow, eating in the cafeteria, laughing, putting makeup on Yuu as he slept, reading by the fire, sleeping, running outside as it rained, and most common of all, embracing. Grinning widely I tucked the book under my arm and sprinted to the medical ward. Just as the clock's hand reached the stroke of midnight, I slipped inside to find Allen sitting up, waiting for me.

"Allen, you look well," I commented and pecked him on the cheek. His brilliant smile almost brought tears to my eyes. "I brought you something," I said slyly and showed him the album. He looked at me quizzically.

"Here, I'll show you…"

For the next half hour I flipped the pages and explained the pictures to him. By the time I reached the end of the album, both of our eyes were glistening.

"Oh, Allen… I just wish you would talk to me…" I cried as I hugged him tightly. His arms went around me for a brief, joyous moment, but then they dropped again. I parted from him and looked at his blank expression quizzically.

"Allen?" He shook his head and turned away from me. He shoved the book away and it fell open to the last page, a picture of us hugging each other and laughing. Why could we not do the same now?

"Allen…?" He looked at me with eyes filled with grief and glared at the book. The look he gave it was so malicious I wondered what those poor photos ever did to him.

"What's wrong, Allen? Why don't you like it anymore?" I asked gently and touched his cheek. He didn't slap it away, but he still refused to meet my gaze as tears dripped steadily down his cheeks. "What's wrong with it, Allen?" He looked at me and opened his mouth. For a fleeting moment I thought he was going to speak, but of course he only mouthed the words again.

"It's not finished," his soundless lips told me. I raised an eyebrow and examined the book. What could he mean by that? I frowned as I flipped the pages, searching for something that wasn't there. Then it struck me. Why wasn't there a single picture of us kissing? And that's when it hit me a second time, this time full blown across the face.

We hadn't.

"A kiss… we've never… oh, Allen…" I murmured as his tears increased. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to take it slow and-" What he did next not only shocked me, but wounded me as well.

"Take it slow? TAKE IT SLOW? You didn't want to take it slow! You were lying to me! You… You were cheating on me!" he screamed. His voice was hoarse and small, probably because of lack of usage, but his words were full of fury.

After I had stopped gaping because he'd spoken, I managed to summon a reply. "Allen! I would never cheat on you!"

"THEN EXPLAIN WHY THE EARL SHOWED ME YOU CHEATING ON ME WITH KANDA!"

I sat in stunned silence. I moved my lips silently, baffled and totally unsure of what to say.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You love Kanda. I was just your toy for when you were bored. You're leaving me and lying to me like everyone else in my life. I-I thought I could trust you, Lavi!" Allen was crying now, his hands covering his face as he sobbed.

"Allen, I am not cheating on you with Kanda," I said firmly. "Kanda's just a friend. I've never loved him. The images the Earl showed you were fakes. Everything he told you was a lie."

"B-But, I could see the way you looked at him when we were going back home! Those secret glances, raised eyebrows, hushed conversations…"

"Allen, we glanced at each other and whispered because we were afraid for you. We didn't know what was wrong with you. We were confused, and even though Kanda's a cold-hearted idiot, he was concerned too, even if it wasn't as much as I was. I love you, Allen, and only you. Saying otherwise would be like suggesting that Komui isn't the biggest procrastinator in the world."

Allen smiled a little at that.

"But… Still… W-What proof do you have?" Allen said after he found his voice again. I gentle smile graced my lips. And without missing a beat, I leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss.

It was gentle, I made sure of that, but I put every bit of my love into it. Allen was obviously surprised, but to my relief, didn't pull away. I was pleased when he leaned into it, his hands traveling to my red locks and entangling themselves in the fiery strands. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held his warm body to mine as we kissed; I felt like I was floating the whole time. Allen wasn't my first kiss, but he sure was the only one that ever had any actual love behind it.

When we parted for air, his eyes were wide and the angry tears that had spilled down his cheeks had stopped.

"Lavi…" Allen murmured as he nuzzled my neck, his tear-stained skin brushing against mine.

"I love you, Allen…" I breathed and kissed his forehead, pulling him into another hug.

"I know you do…." He trailed off, then looked up at me and smiled, leaning his head on my chest.

"**I love you too."**

And we sat like that for the rest of the night, wrapped in each other's arms, warm, loving, and full of life.

* * *

**Waaaaaah~ I'm such a sucker for cheesy endings :'D Anyways, that is the very last chapter of my Laven story, so please please PLEASE tell me what you thought of it, especially if you favorited this ^^**

** I assume you guys won't kill me because it's a happy ending, right? XD**

** Thanks so much for all the support and reviews! I really appreciate it! Also, if you guys have any suggestions for future fics you'd like me to write (pairings, plot, and such), let me know! I have writer's block right now and I'd be grateful for any kind of idea~ :D**


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